And also things.

Old Man Balls

So I’ve spent about 10 years of my life going to the gym on a consistent basis mostly 24 hour fitness. And if I see one more pair of old man balls I think I will go FUCKING Nuts!!! Pardon the pun, but what the hell is it with old men and their overwhelming desire to be nude  in the god damn gym locker room. It’s like a fucking cartoon or terribly bad SNL sketch. Every time you step into the  locker room there’s at least one old man with his wrinkly floppy cock hanging out ready to greet you and the bigger the gym the more there are, just hangin out in the in there with their bare asses sitting down on the little wooden benches which I’m sure have more feces on them than one could imagine because of the old fucking farts.

Soon as you step into the locker room, BAM! old dude drying his wizzened old man shaft with the air hand dryer, disgusted you look away try to find a locker to put your stuff in, BAM! there’s an old man in that area bending over to check some fungus in his toes or some shit, baring his ancient hairy asshole to the world, okay avert your eyes put your shit in your locker and try to run out, and BAM!!!! old man drying off his saggy soggy nutsack with his towel after showering! You can’t get out of there fast enough! I bet if I went to the gym at 3AM on a Sunday morning, there would be one old man in the gym just waiting there for me, and he would be right in front of MY LOCKER doing squat thrusts and deep knee bends!

So here’s my point, STOP IT! I’ve been going to the gym for 10 years of my life and have never once walked around naked in the locker room. I’ve had to, on an infrequent and unpleasant occasion, shower in the gym but never have walked around naked in the common locker room area because I’m just not that comfortable with male nudity, not even my own.  What makes these old men so comfortable enough to share their decrepit bodies with the general public and for such an inordinate amount of time?!?! I mean incidental nudity while changing I can understand but these archaic broken down dudes just linger and loiter and dawdle around with no sense of urgency, like “Clothes? eh who needs ‘em? I’m arranging the lint in the small pocket of my gym bag! This could take alllllll day!” Just STOP IT!!! I guess it’s because you don’t give a fuck anymore because you are just so old but at that point, maybe your after workout cleanup should be done elsewhere, like at home. Because even if you don’t give a fuck, the others in the locker room do!  I’d rather not see aging hairy ass crack on a daily basis. THANKS!!!

2 responses

  1. willymaeye

    I wouldn’t know what to say, but you’re the asshole.
    Is what they are doing against the rules? Then suck it up and deal with it! When your done being stuck on yourself, remember, it is YOU who will be next with an old butt and wrinkled skin, and that time comes sooner than you think.
    Use your option and stop looking.

    May 19, 2014 at 4:49 pm

    • This is the complete wrong thing to do, respond to a troll writing a comment on my dead blog, but here I go anyway because what better way to gain readership than antagonize the only person that had read this ever. The problem with applying pragmatism to a hyperbolic rant, exaggerated for “comedy,” is that it no longer becomes funny. “I’m bothered by male nudity, so I don’t look.” Isn’t just unfunny but terribly boring. Also you completely missed the point, I DO think it’s wrong to be naked in public places like a gym locker room, and I NEVER get naked in them which negates your argument that I would eventually become that same old nude guy that I hate… And of course I’m a dick, because I have an opinion that I write on a blog that no one reads… Thanks for reading!!!!!!

      May 19, 2014 at 8:47 pm

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